Last year, I got me crying inside my room. Broken heart, lost friends, no enough money to go. Everythings bad came to me, made me so down and unjoyfull. I was thinking, I'm not worth to get what I want. I blame myself why didn't do my best before. I just stuck on my room and nothing to do. I lost myself. Allah made me so weak until don't know what to do.
What did make me so sad is losing my business partner in the end of the year. I blame myself again because don't help her in our projects. She left me with many her masterpieces. I think that she deserve to stay and better I go out. I just a piece of broken glass who will get her injured. I'm bad person for everyone around me. I didn't do my best so they go.
I was tired because this failureness. Think that I'm not a good person for others. I even don't know how to get crying. Looked happy outside, fragile inside.
I went to Jogjakarta last days, came to rooftop Pasar Prawirotaman. A man who met me in lift said that in front of me is the door to the rooftop. Then I walked to the door and found the rooftop without high border around. I fear of heights and I looked down. Then I screamed alone. The heights liked pull me to jump. I cursed the man who told the rooftop. The heights may kill me because of my phobia. Then I acrossed the door. I think the man pranked me. In another door, I found the real rooftop with the high border, tables dan high chairs. I sit there alone, look around the crowded of the city then eat my food that I bought before. I was sad but I didn't want dead in there.
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